petals on her name
by SkinnyJeansNLattes
Summary: His name was coloured red on her arms. She was the wrong girl. She lost the battle, she failed her mission. It took her 4 months. 4 months of pain, loss and happiness in ways you wouldn't expect. - ONESHOT. (Based on Pretty Hurts. And has mentions of self-harm and anorexia.)


(Sorry if this triggers you, I just needed to write this? And I don't own anything.)

* * *

Ally. She has been only associated as Austin Moon's songwriter, partner and best friend.

She's okay with it, Right?

But except from the fact that she wants to be something else. She wanted to be Austin's so much. But the feelings weren't mutual. Austin only thought of her as a friend. No. There isn't going to be a sudden change where Austin suddenly loves her. No, that's because he likes Piper.

You see, it kills Ally everyday to see Austin with Piper. He does everything with Piper. Heck, she has now joined "Team Austin" and seems to be a hit with everyone. Especially Austin.

Austin has Piper, the daring, fun, hilarious and sexy blonde. Everything Ally wasn't.

_"I mean have you seen her figure Ally?" _There goes Ally's conscience again.

"I know! I'm trying. I really am." She replies to the empty walls. She hasn't been eating.

_"Gosh. Ally! Well get on with it. Go for a jog if you are really trying."_

And that's what she does. She has a daily routine. Of course she does, she's a creature of habit.

* * *

4:50-Wake up, get changed into sweats.

5:00-Run outside while no one is there.

6:00-Eat half an apple

6:10-Check weight.

6:15-Pack bag.

6:20-Get ready for school.

7:10-Go to school.

12:00- Throw lunch away.

3:00-Go home from school, check weight again.

3:05-Go to Sonic Boom and play piano.

5:00-Go home and check weight again.

5:05-Go jog by the river.

5:40-Go eat the other half of the apple.

5:45-Write Austin's songs. Then exercise.

12:00-Sleep.

* * *

The thought of Austin's name made her flutter. But of course she needed to live up to his expectations. Right now this is the beginning of the day; she doesn't need to do it but she wants to do it. Her weight no more than 75 pounds from 4 months of brutal 'control,' as she likes to call it.

But sadly, it's not working. If anything, she feels nothing if Austin doesn't notice her.

"_Go eat half an apple. ONLY HALF or less."_ She obviously does the latter.

She checks her weight. 73 pounds. _"Only 3 more pounds to go Alls, you can do it."_ That's the only thing that her mind praises her on.

After the 'half an apple' Ally gets ready. She puts concealer on her baggy eyes, she puts make up on her face to make her seem prettier, with the help of tutorials from Trish, and she puts on a sweatshirt, jeans and wedges.

She doesn't notice everyone staring at her, they know she's anorexic, it's obvious to the naked eye because Ally isn't herself. The girls look at her pityingly in the changing rooms when she goes in a cubicle, even Tilly has stopped hating her, as it has turned to pity.

The guys just don't understand why she's doing it for Austin, I mean she knows, they know and I know that Austin doesn't like her in that way. But:

"It doesn't hurt to try." Ally says to no one.

All of her lessons pass by in a blur; the teachers have given up trying to get Ally to participate in class, her grades slowly go down, her mood has been noticed by everyone.

Why isn't anyone taking action? Surely, that's what someone with a kind heart would do. The answer is simple, harsh but true. No one wanted to get involved.

The hearty lunch her mother has packed her gets a new place in the bin, all the almost-consumed calories gone, she smiles in satisfaction.

"AWW! Ally! I wanted to have your chocolate bar!" Austin complains.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Ally grumbles. "How can you stay that thin, and eat that?" She whispers to the ground, inaudibly. She starts to get dizzy, but she gets used to it. Her stomach grumbles. She closes her eyes, cringing, hoping somebody didn't hear that.

Of course, someone heard that.

The last half of the day comes to a finish, and as usual, Ally sits in the bathroom floor, admiring her fresh cuts on her wrists, not noticing the blood trickle down her sleeve. She washes them and winces but she thinks it's worth all the trouble for Austin.

She's the last to leave school; they think she's at the library, or cleaning the cooking rooms, or at Sonic Boom's practice room.

She leaves school with a new battle scar; she leaves school half a pound lighter; she leaves school closer to dying than ever before.

She arrives home, weighs herself and is reward with half an apple that she barely eats.

She arrives at Sonic Boom, jogging and in sweats, she changes in the staff room and freshens up.

As if right on cue, she sees the happy couple waiting for Ally, Trish and Dez. Piper looks at Ally with pity and sadness, while Austin greets her as normal.

"Hey Alls, are you okay?" Ah, so he was the one who heard her at lunch.

"Yeah. How are the happy couple?" Ally replies, with a shaky voice.

"Cool. Yeah Ally can I talk to you for a minute?" Piper asks.

"Sure." Austin gives Piper a kiss on her head and walks over to Dez.

"Ally. Are you sure you're okay?" Piper asks, worryingly.

"Mmhmm." Ally replies.

"Ally. I'm sorry about… Austin. Do you think we should break up?" Piper asks, she knows it's for Austin.

"No. It's fine. I'm A-okay… remember?"She flashes a fake smile and goes back to the group, while Piper has already made up her mind.

* * *

"What?" Austin replies to Piper.

"I'm sorry Austin. It's for the best." Piper didn't love Austin anymore. But Piper knew it wouldn't help Ally as much as Piper had hoped.

Piper kisses Austin one last time and walks away, knowing she had finally done something for Ally to return one of the countless things Ally had done for her.

* * *

"71 pounds." Ally shouted. She cheered as it meant only 1 more to go. She was exhausted, but she had almost lost around 50 pounds. Only 1 more to go.

"_Well done Alls, all that's left now is to go to the river and jog."_ She jogs to the river, she feels some new sensations. She feels lightheaded, out of touch. She felt dizzier than before. But unfortunately she carried on.

She spots Austin sitting on a bench by the river, distraught and shocked. He couldn't see her like this. So she ran past Austin, her ribs poking out of her shirt, her heart almost giving up and her stomach eating itself whole.

"ALLY?!" Austin shouts. He saw a thin, brunette speed past him. He didn't realise how thin she had gotten, he saw her ribs, her pained eyes and her will to run. He saw feisty, but dull eyes glazed with pain. He runs after her, and he's surprised she's a fast runner.

But she slows down. She starts to fall. He runs faster, he stops by her wasted body. He looks closely at her broken body. To his dismay, he realises it's more broken on the inside.

"I'm sorry. I'm not skinny enough yet, only 5 more pounds. Only then will everyone like me." She whispers. A crowd has gathered round, someone calls 999 and paramedics arrive 10 minutes later.

They carry the almost dead body as she is too light and bring the shocked blonde with her.

"Mama said, 'you're a pretty girl. What's in your head, it doesn't matter." Ally whispers.

"Ally?"

"This time I'm gonna take the crown, without falling down, down, down."

"Ally, please don't go." Austin doesn't hear her soft voice.

"Pretty Hurts, Austin." She chokes out.

"Ally, you were beautiful just the way you were." He strains.

* * *

She had severe Anorexia and Depression. Austin saw his name scratched onto her arms.

"Ally, why did you do this?" He asks the broken girl, who was losing her heartbeat by the second.

"Because… I love you; I wanted to be pretty and perfect for you."

Oh Ally. Dear, dear Ally. I guess life isn't fair.

"Ally, you were already." Austin replies. He was shocked. He pities Ally, and he kisses her on the forehead.

"Am I pretty now though?"He nods, and says she already was.

"I'm sorry Ally." Were Austin's last words to Ally.

_"He doesn't love you."_ sighs Ally's conscience.

* * *

Ally's heart broke into a million pieces, she followed the one going up. She followed the only piece that wasn't hurt. But she only realises her true ambition was just to be Happy.

Austin was heartbroken too. There was nothing he could do to fix her, she was permanently broken.

"I'm sorry there was nothing I could do. You were my best friend." Austin whispers into the new stone slab. He cries.

"I know Austin." Piper replies, giving him a white rose to give to what was left of Ally.

"I wished I loved her, because she would be here." But his heart couldn't be tamed.

He drops some white rose petals on her name, the soft white contrasting with the grey.

* * *

So… sorry guys I have a tiny case of writer's block.. aha. This was poorly written but tell me what you think…


End file.
